Harry Potter and the Harry Potter
by Salami
Summary: Harry Potter clones himself! And Voldemort takes over the school! *ba ba baaam*
1. Voldy's Plan

HARRY POTTER and the HARRY POTTER  
  
(Weird title, eh? But you are interested, aren't you? Don't lie ;))  
  
Chapter One (I'm excited!): VOLDEMORT'S PLAN  
  
  
  
Voldemort, (you know, that evil guy with the ugly head, the red eyes, and the slits for nose …) plonked himself down on his 'throne' and clicked his fingers. A snake suddenly appeared at his side.  
  
'Hello, Nagini,' Voldemort hissed, 'feeling hungry?'  
  
Nagini nodded, hissing.  
  
'Right. I'll feed you now then. Nungina!' he cried. A human head appeared out of nowhere right in front of the awaiting snake. Hissing in delight, Nagini dug right into its meal.  
  
Voldemort sniggered in approval.  
  
'WORMTAIL!' Voldemort then cried.  
  
A second later, the door to the room opened and a chubby nervous man with a steel fist waddled into the room.  
  
'Y-yes sir?' he murmured, bending down on his knee, and then getting up again.  
  
'I feel annoyed,' Voldemort replied.  
  
'D-don't we all, sir!' answered Wormtail.  
  
The evil dark lord nodded. 'And do you know why I'm annoyed?'  
  
'P-please tell me, master.'  
  
'Because, Wormtail, a certain scarred child escaped from me a year ago, when I had him in my grip. And that annoys me, so very, very much.'  
  
'M-me too, master.'  
  
'And I don't want that little *beep* to live much longer. Every day I live, I hate Harry Potter more and more, every moment of the days that go by.'  
  
Wormtail nodded.  
  
'And so, to get rid of this annoying, everyday gritting feeling, knowing that the boy who thwarted me still lives, I have conducted a plan. A plan to capture Harry Potter, torture him, and then eventually kill him, in front of all his friends.'  
  
'Goodie!' Wormtail muttered. 'What's the plan?'  
  
'The plan, my dear servant, is simple enough. And here it is –'  
  
Voldemort whispered Wormtail the plan.  
  
'What's that sir?' asked Wormtail. 'Sorry – I didn't hear you.'  
  
Voldemort sighed. 'Basically, I'm going to disguise myself as a teacher, and teach at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for DATDA. (Defence Against The Dark Arts.) And then, after a while, I shall …' BOM, BOM BOOOOM '…take over the school!'  
  
Wormtail clapped and cheered. 'Marvellous plan, mas-master.'  
  
'Isn't it,' grinned Voldemort, his red eyes flashing. 'I shall have to get to work at once. Put an ad in the paper. Dumbledore will read the ad, and then hire me. And then I will go to Hogwarts on the school train, along with the other children. I will find Harry Potter, and, and get to know him … befriend him. So he wouldn't suspect that I would be the one taking over the school! Mwahahahahahahahahahah!'  
  
'Ingenious,' Wormtail sighed. 'Wish I thought of that.'  
  
Voldemort stood up. 'Wormtail, this is a great day for all evil. Now, let's get to work. I don't want Harry Potter to live to be 17! 


	2. The Stranger

CHAPTER TWO  
  
THE STRANGER  
  
  
  
  
  
Harry Potter yawned, waking from his sleep. He couldn't remember what he dreamed about … unless he tried to remember it. So, he did. And this is all he could remember:  
  
Red eyes: "Hello, Harry, how about trying on a wig …MWAHAHAHA*cough*HAHAHA!"  
  
Familiar voice: 'Harry! Harry! Catch!'  
  
Girl's voice: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"  
  
Huge noise: SMASH  
  
And that was all.  
  
Harry rubbed his scar. Not because it was stinging, but because he always does it. It had become a horrible habit. He can't stop rubbing it!  
  
Harry noticed something. He picked up his alarm clock and looked at the time: 12:30am.  
  
Then Harry looked at his calendar. There was two big circles around two dates. One, was the day he would go back to Hogwarts (1st of September.)  
  
The second circle was around his birthday. Which was today. (31st June.) He was now 15.  
  
Harry didn't always look forward to his birthday (having being given crappy presents like socks and coat-hangers from the Dursleys, the Muggles he lives with) but for the past four birthdays, it was almost bearable, getting gifts from all his friends, including Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid.  
  
'Morning,' Harry called, when he opened the door to the Hall.  
  
'Shuuuuuuut up!' Vernon Dursley (his Uncle) called back to him.  
  
'Hey, it's my birthday, you know,' Harry shouted cheerfully.  
  
Harry's Uncle opened the door of his bedroom and stormed out. He thundered over to Harry and threw something at his feet.  
  
'Merry … Happy Birthday,' he grumbled, and then stomped away.  
  
Harry looked down. At his feet there was a scrunched up tissue. Harry unwrapped the tissue to find a huge loogie had been spat into it.  
  
'That rotten stupid …' Harry snarled, throwing down the tissue. He turned around and went back into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.  
  
'Happy Birthday,' said something sitting on his bed.  
  
Harry jumped. There was a tall man with blonde hair and a hairy neck sitting on his bed. The last time there had been something on his bed, it had been a house elf. At least this time it was human.  
  
'Um … thanks.' Harry paused. 'Who the hell are you?'  
  
'Well, for starters, I don't have a name,' the man replied simply. He then inspected his nails, and began whistling.  
  
'Ah.' Harry stared at him. 'Everyone has a name.'  
  
'Not me.'  
  
'Didn't your parents call you anything?'  
  
The stranger looked up. 'Nope. Once my mother gave birth to me, she simply said: 'let's just call me "son".'  
  
Harry blinked. 'So, you do have a name. Your name is "Son".'  
  
'Well, so it is.' Son went back to looking at his nails.  
  
'What do you want?'  
  
Son looked up again. 'I'm just here to pass you on a birthday present,' he replied.  
  
'Who's it from?'  
  
'A friend.'  
  
'Who?'  
  
Son stood up. 'You'll figure it out soon enough.'  
  
The stranger then walked up to Harry. He held out a pin. 'Could you just prick yourself? I need a drop of your blood.'  
  
'What?' Harry cried. He was strongly reminded of Voldemort and Wormtail.  
  
'Don't worry, just prick yourself.'  
  
Harry didn't know what "Son" would do to him, so he obeyed him. Harry took the pin and pricked himself on his ring finger. Just as a drop of blood began to dribble down his finger, Son took out a small flask and let the drop of blood fall into it.  
  
'Thank you very much,' said Son.  
  
Then Son turned around. Harry couldn't see what he was doing for a little while, and then Son turned around again, holding what appeared to be a small yellow box.  
  
'Open the box, and stick your hand inside it,' Son instructed Harry.  
  
Harry did as he was told.  
  
'Thank you very much,' Son said. He put the yellow box down on the bed. 'I must go. The yellow box is your birthday present. In a few minutes, another present will arrive! Bye!'  
  
Then he apparated.  
  
Harry couldn't believe it. That had to be the weirdest thing that had happened to Harry so far this holidays, besides Aunt Pertunia divorcing Uncle Vernon.  
  
Harry walked slowly over to the box.  
  
He looked inside it.  
  
It was completely empty.  
  
'Well, I'm stumped,' Harry told himself, 'what on Earth was that all about?'  
  
Harry stood there for a few minutes. When he turned around, he bumped into someone.  
  
Harry fell back in surprise – so did the other person.  
  
'Hey!' he cried. So did the other person – at the exact same time.  
  
Harry looked up.  
  
So did the other person.  
  
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!' Harry screamed in horror.  
  
And … so did the other person. 


End file.
